Milk (melk)

In Nepal, milk is crucial to survival. Without this wonderful drink, it is clear that many would suffer from the horrid symptoms of Osteoporosis. Due to the lack of milk in the area of late, Nepal has decided to import cows from the neighboring country of India. One may think a few cows would be enough, but a grand total of 10,000 cows will be imported from India, helping to stem the mountain countries demand for milk. Moral of the story is, only about 12% of the population in Norway speaks Norwegian.


http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/nepal-plans-to-import-10000-cows-from-india/articleshow/27541371.cms

The Plague

The Bubonic Plague is back and better than ever. In a remote village on the Island of Madagascar, 20 people have perished from a disease we all thought was dead. All of last year, a total of 60 people perished, and now a third of that has died all at once. The Red Cross is conducting a bunch of tests to try and pinpoint where the problem originated. This sudden outbreak was due to a coup and a sudden reduction in living condition. These living conditions helped the rats used to spread the disease multiply. Moral of the story is, never have bad living conditions, simple as that.



http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-25324011

I love the NSA

So the National Security Agency has been tracking cell phone records now. With this recent admission they have revealed their ability to view a certain individual and his or her relationships with other phones around the world. Robert Litt, general counsel for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, which oversees the NSA, said “there is no element of the intelligence community that under any authority is intentionally collecting bulk cellphone location information about cellphones in the United States.” One of the stranger things is they can track where you are all day. Cellphones transmit wireless signals 24/7 and allow the NSA to map where you are at all times. The moral of the story is, when writing about the NSA, try to post as many flagged words as you can.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/nsa-tracking-cellphone-locations-worldwide-snowden-documents-show/2013/12/04/5492873a-5cf2-11e3-bc56-c6ca94801fac_story.html?wpisrc=al_excl

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Perverted Creeper...NOT!!!

Two years ago, two schoolgirls in San Jose accused a Physical Education teacher of being a "Perv and a Creeper", but today the truth has been set free. After a two year long lawsuit, the Phy. Ed teacher has been cleared of all charges and awarded compensatory damages of $362,653. When the jury announced the verdict, a smile broke on John Fischler's face.  "I'm grateful the jury was able to see through the smoke screen and the truth came out." Fischler said during an iterview.  "There's always going to be a scar. But the jury saw through the deception." Moral of the story is, childhood obesity is running rampant in america because all gym teachers are evil.  









http://www.mercurynews.com/crime-courts/ci_24535161/jury-finds-girls-parents-liable-calling-teacher-perv

This was most likely an accident

3 years ago, a UK spy was found dead, shoved into a small gym bag. Realistically, we all know spies don't just day, but apparently Scotland Yard thinks it was most likely an accident. I mean, c'mon? Who wouldn't lock themselves in a bag naked in the middle of the family room of their London flat? It seems logical, so it must be an accident right? Moral of the story? Have Life alert.


http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/nov/13/mi6-spy-dead-bag-locked-himself-gareth-williams

Gran Turismo 6

The Gran Turismo franchise prides itself on being a "Driving Simulator" rather than a racing game. With their newest release, Gran Turismo 6, they have gotten even closer to their goal. Now, once you purchase the game, you can install a certain app. This isn't an ordinary app, not in the least. You can go for a drive in your car and the app will record your movement and create a drive-able track in the game. Never before has this been done. The closest we have come, is designing a track in game. This process was painstaking to say the least. Moral of the story? Buy Sony.


http://www.gran-turismo.com/us/products/gt6/

Bad Boy Brown

Chris Brown was arrested early Sunday morning for Felony Assault again for the second time. He got into a fight with an un-named man outside of a hotel in Washington D.C. The first felony was due to the aggravated assault of his then girlfriend Rihanna. He hit her multiple times in the face and torso the night before a certain distinguished awards ceremony. This time, Brown is set for a court date November 20th. Moral of the Story is, if you're gunna be around Chris Brown, you're gunna have a bad time.


http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/27/showbiz/chris-brown-arrested/

Clown Assassins Strike Once More

Sunday, in the fantastic country of Mexico, a Mexican drug lord was killed by two individuals dressed as clowns. He was found shot dead early in the morning in a rented beach bungalow on the ocean. Arellano Felix is the name of the 63 year old cartel leader who was shot twice, once in the head and another time in the chest. This man was the leader of the Tijuana Drug Cartel and has been wanted for years. The reasoning for the assassins dress up is still being determined. Moral of the story, if you want to assassinate someone successfully, dress up in clown suits.




http://abcnews.go.com/International/gunman-dressed-clown-kills-mexican-drug-lord/story?id=20625859

San Fran Supahman

19 days lost in the woods were not enough to kill this San Fran mega man. Gene Penaflor was hunting in the wilderness near Bloody rock when he fell and was knocked unconscious due to a blow to the head. After waking up, he noticed it was dark and a fog had rolled in. By staying under logs and eating Lizards and Squirrels, the individual in question managed to stay alive for 19 days. He was later found to be over 3 miles away from the original spot he got lost in. Moral of the story, Lizards are good for you. Period.





http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/S-F-man-lost-in-woods-survives-on-squirrels-4892887.php

Swiss Sanctions

Due to the North Korea's hostile intentions of late, Kim Jong Un decided to build a ski resort. Now, some of you may be thinking, "He's an idiot!" Those of you with that mindset would, in fact, be incorrect. Naturally, after nearly waging nuclear war, the first thing to do would be to build a ski resort. Kim Jong Un has set this to be nation's number one priority. Unfortunately, the hermit nation lacks the technology needed to build ski lifts, which has set them back a wee bit in their production stage. Due to the dictator's love of skiing, North Korea decided to ask Switzerland to buy some of their ski lifts. They said no. Moral of the story, Switzerland is "intolerably mocking of the social system and the people of the DPRK and is a serious human rights abuser that politicizes sports and discriminates against the Koreans."



http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/10/07/north-korea-calls-switzerlands-refusal-to-sell-it-ski-lifts-a-serious-human-rights-abuse/

Slippery Silk

Tuesday, the federal bureau of investigation decided to act on "Dread Pirate Roberts". This individual in question is better known as Ross Ulbricht, the owner of an infamous black-market web site called "Silk Road". This web site, only accessible by a special internet browser called Tor, is a secret drug trafficking web site used to sell hard drugs like crack, heroin, and marijuana. The drugs are purchased by Bitcoin, a currency used specially for online anonymity. When Ross Ulbricht was seized, over 26,000 bitcoins were seized, approximately 3.6 dollars of united states currency. Although little is known on how the FBI gathered enough info to apprehend the man, TOR is allegedly still a safe anonymous web browser.


http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/10/02/228491496/fbi-arrests-owner-of-black-market-site-silk-road

Jinno's of Japan

Kohei Jinno has really bad luck. The Olympics have been held or will be held in Japan two times. In 1964 Kohei was told to move, as the plot of land he was on was a prime spot to build an Olympic stadium. Now he is being told to move again. With the games being hosted once more in Japan, over 200 families are being requested to move again, but Kohei is the only one who has moved twice. "It's like they're taking away the most precious thing I have after my family," he said. "Because of the Olympics, I'm going to lose the community I love so much, the friends that have kept me going so long. In their place I'm getting uncertainty, loneliness and pain."

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57603718/man-evicted-for-1964-tokyo-olympics-faces-same-fate-in-2020/

Dutch Dudes

On September 15th, the Dutch bicycle Velox2 broke the World Record for the fastest non-motorized bicycle. Achieving a blistering final speed of 133.78 Km/h. The way the bicycle was designed reduced the air resistance to 1/10th of what is normally is and was coated with paint used on Formula One race cars. It took over a week for the Dutch crew to achieve the top speed predicted by computer software made to emulate the event due to bad weather and technicalities. To clear things up, this speed only topped the previous record by a sixth of a kilometer per hour.

.http://phys.org/news/2013-09-high-tech-bike-world.html

No Yucky Yogurt

Greek yogurt giant, Chobani, recalls some of its Greek yogurt that were affected by mold. the recall comes after many consumers reported illnesses associated with mold. Apart from the reported illnesses, retailers needed to pull these Grecian goodies from the shelves because the product started to "Bloat and swell". Chobani CEO Hamdi Ulukaya was interviewed and stated, "The problem was caused by a type of mold at our plant in Idaho that is commonly found in most dairy environments. This issue has been totally fixed." What was not mentioned was the exact number of reports that were received by the company on this issue. what was said was that the number associated with the mold complaints was not in the thousands, or even hundreds. Among the differences in taste, one woman said her yogurt was, "unnervingly fizzy" and another said it tasted like "Wine"

Pushchair Troubles

Later in evening on Sunday, September the 1st, a small child was shot whilst being strolled in a pushchair. In the city of New York, more specifically the Brownsville area of Brooklyn, approximately three or four shots rang out in the middle of the night, resulting in the death of Antiq Hennis. The boy's alleged father was heard saying, "My baby got shot! My baby got shot!" This is not the only event in recent months where a child has been killed. In Georgia, a few weeks prior, Antonio Santiago (13 months) was killed after his mother refused to hand over her purse. Charles Barron, a police officer in the Brooklyn area told the New York Daily News, "The Child didn't even get a chance to start his life, and now it's over"














http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23933029