Bad Boy Brown

Chris Brown was arrested early Sunday morning for Felony Assault again for the second time. He got into a fight with an un-named man outside of a hotel in Washington D.C. The first felony was due to the aggravated assault of his then girlfriend Rihanna. He hit her multiple times in the face and torso the night before a certain distinguished awards ceremony. This time, Brown is set for a court date November 20th. Moral of the Story is, if you're gunna be around Chris Brown, you're gunna have a bad time.


http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/27/showbiz/chris-brown-arrested/

Clown Assassins Strike Once More

Sunday, in the fantastic country of Mexico, a Mexican drug lord was killed by two individuals dressed as clowns. He was found shot dead early in the morning in a rented beach bungalow on the ocean. Arellano Felix is the name of the 63 year old cartel leader who was shot twice, once in the head and another time in the chest. This man was the leader of the Tijuana Drug Cartel and has been wanted for years. The reasoning for the assassins dress up is still being determined. Moral of the story, if you want to assassinate someone successfully, dress up in clown suits.




http://abcnews.go.com/International/gunman-dressed-clown-kills-mexican-drug-lord/story?id=20625859

San Fran Supahman

19 days lost in the woods were not enough to kill this San Fran mega man. Gene Penaflor was hunting in the wilderness near Bloody rock when he fell and was knocked unconscious due to a blow to the head. After waking up, he noticed it was dark and a fog had rolled in. By staying under logs and eating Lizards and Squirrels, the individual in question managed to stay alive for 19 days. He was later found to be over 3 miles away from the original spot he got lost in. Moral of the story, Lizards are good for you. Period.





http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/S-F-man-lost-in-woods-survives-on-squirrels-4892887.php

Swiss Sanctions

Due to the North Korea's hostile intentions of late, Kim Jong Un decided to build a ski resort. Now, some of you may be thinking, "He's an idiot!" Those of you with that mindset would, in fact, be incorrect. Naturally, after nearly waging nuclear war, the first thing to do would be to build a ski resort. Kim Jong Un has set this to be nation's number one priority. Unfortunately, the hermit nation lacks the technology needed to build ski lifts, which has set them back a wee bit in their production stage. Due to the dictator's love of skiing, North Korea decided to ask Switzerland to buy some of their ski lifts. They said no. Moral of the story, Switzerland is "intolerably mocking of the social system and the people of the DPRK and is a serious human rights abuser that politicizes sports and discriminates against the Koreans."



http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/10/07/north-korea-calls-switzerlands-refusal-to-sell-it-ski-lifts-a-serious-human-rights-abuse/

Slippery Silk

Tuesday, the federal bureau of investigation decided to act on "Dread Pirate Roberts". This individual in question is better known as Ross Ulbricht, the owner of an infamous black-market web site called "Silk Road". This web site, only accessible by a special internet browser called Tor, is a secret drug trafficking web site used to sell hard drugs like crack, heroin, and marijuana. The drugs are purchased by Bitcoin, a currency used specially for online anonymity. When Ross Ulbricht was seized, over 26,000 bitcoins were seized, approximately 3.6 dollars of united states currency. Although little is known on how the FBI gathered enough info to apprehend the man, TOR is allegedly still a safe anonymous web browser.


http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/10/02/228491496/fbi-arrests-owner-of-black-market-site-silk-road